Well, this is actually a fairly entertaining and humorous blog entry, but it doesn't start out as such.  As usual, I found humor in a very serious situation.  Instead of handling grief and dispair like an adult, I feel the need to make awkward jokes.  It's what I do. 

Last week, Jason lost two family members within 30 minutes of each other.  Each on opposite sides of his family. The first loss had been anticipated, but terribly sad none the less.  Nothing at all light hearted about that one, but the second loss was that of Jason's 92 year old grandmother.  Although we'll miss her and we loved her, I can have a little fun because she lived a full life and she able to go and join her late husband in eternity. 

For starters, I was invited by my father in law's sister to help go through Grandma's personal items.  Before I begin, our cousin, Laura excitedly tells me, "Oh, wait!  Grandma left something for you"!  She comes back with a terry cloth 'hair turban' with the 1946 Save Rite price tag still on it.  I'm dying.  I've worn it every day since!!  It's perfect for when I'm cleaning and can't find a hair tie! Or if I'm showering on a non-hair-wash day! 

So, we're sorting thru her jewels and I'm in my glory.  Amid all the other similarities between Grandma and me, we also shared a strong liking for costume jewelry.  The jewelry sorting led to my cleaning out her bathrooms cupboards.  While Grandma was completely meticulous, she may have had some hoarding tendencies, along with most of the people from her generation.  The shit I was throwing out of her drawers and cupboards were hair products from the turn of the century.  And I'm not kidding.  Then, I got to wondering what people would think of me, should I die tomorrow.  First of all, all the porn and the drugs are down in the safe, so....they wouldn't be terribly easy to find.  The only one who has access to our safe is my father in law.  Which poses a problem in and of itself.  "Let's see, here's the deed to their house, here's her birth certificate...oh, and what's this?  Good Will Humping?  On Golden Blonde?"  How embarrassing!  One thing that I absolutely  know is that while I won't be accused of being a hoarder, I will be accused of being a crazy hand soap collector.  Freaking Bath and Body Works is forever having their "5 for $20" sales, so I stock up.  Except they're pretty much always having that sale so I buy 5 hand soaps every other week.  Needless to say, if you were to stumble upon my downstairs bathroom, you'd think I was cuckoo!  I roughly own about 40 bottles of hand soap.  Guilty! I don't smoke and I don't do (many) drugs.  So, I hardly consider buying soap a vice!  Saving used Q-tips is creepy.....hand soap isn't.  There.  Now that I've completely justified my sick obsession, we can move on.  

Moving onto the funeral service.  As we're walking into the funeral home, my 5 year old says, "Oh, I love this place"!!!   Also, I'd like to mention that I LOVED her video montage that the funeral home had playing throughout the visitation. I didn't however love it when a stunning photo of Grandma wearing a gorgeous fur coat came onto the screen and I said, "I DIDN'T SEE THAT COAT ANYWHERE IN THE HOUSE" right as the whole room grew quiet.  Don't you hate that?  It happens to me fairly often.  Obviously, I was kidding, but I'm sure some of the more distant family members took me for a greedy beyotch.  Whatever!  I loved Grandma and I know she loved me.  She knows that I could rock a fur coat better than anyone, but, I digress. 

So Jason and the rest of his siblings are a very musically talented bunch.  He announces that his dad "wants us to sing/play at Grandma's funeral".  I ask, "you mean you and me"?   He replies, "no, Leslie.  Not you and me.  My brother, my sister and me".   "Oh".  I say (disappointed)    Like anyone has ever requested me to sing....at any time during my life.  So, Ricky Retardo goes into his big long dialogue about how "Luuu--cy, you cannot be in the show"!   After he finishes their song, the director asked if any friends or family would like to stand up and say a few words about Grandma.  Well, screw them for not letting me sing, so I bounced out of my seat and went into this whole schpeel about how Grandma and I were like bosom buddies because neither of us had a filter between our brains and our mouths.  Not a terribly redeeming quality, but it was what I loved about her.  So, the long and the short of it is that I found a way to be in the show.  

To say the least, it was a very trying and difficult week.  But, we move forward and we move on. It may seem heartless and cold, how I can find humor during painful moments, it really isn't.  I am a real softie, but when everyone around me is upset, I have this profound need to make light of the situation.  I don't know why.  I'm awkward and sometimes I'm socially inept, but no one will ever accuse me of being boring.  You know that Bare Naked Ladies Song, "One Week"?  I'm-the-kinda-girl-who-laughs-at-a-funeral....  That's me!  Ya gotta lighten up.  Laugh, it's plain good for your soul. 

***This photo was taken at Thanksgiving 2009.  I made Grandma do a whip-it and she took it like a champ.  Oh, Grandma....