Have we met??
My son got off the bus today, bawling. I inquire. He tells me that he stood up at his seat, the bus driver saw him and apparently the suitable punishment for such a heinous crime is to have the perpetrator sit in the front seat for the next day.
I sort of laughed it off. Not because I'm a negligent mother, but because this is the kid who NEVER gets in trouble at school, at football, at a friend's house....or anywhere (besides home). Seriously, the kid prides himself on being the proverbial goody two shoes. So, I tell him it's no big deal, he's not in trouble at home and let's just move on. He sobs and sobs about how mean his bus driver is and won't I please call the school to complain about her.
(everything stops, record screeches)
Um. What? I'm sorry, have we met? I think you've mistaken me for someone else's mother. Yeah, in case you haven't caught on in the past 8.5 years, I'm not the mom that comes racing to your rescue each and every time you feel that an injustice was put upon you. No, see...call me old fashioned, but I'm from the school of thought where if you do the crime, you do the time. No matter how stupid the crime and/or punishment are. I can't stand it when a kid screws off at school and the parents challenge the teacher's authority. I'm a mom 24/7 and that will never change, but pretty much between the hours of 8:30 and 3:30, he belongs to the school. Sure, if he's being mistreated in any way or if his spirit is being broken, of course I'd step in, but not as it pertains to discipline. No way.
What bugged me even more is how often he hears the conversations of some of his classmates' mothers and how they talk about school incessantly and are up at the school so often they think they're on the payroll. He hears all this and after a while they lose respect for their teachers because in the back of their minds they know that their mom & dad will have their back. OK, fast forward 10 years. Ya gonna call his college professor when he fails his Philosophy exam? Ya gonna personally take it up with his boss when he gets fired? No!!!! You've got to teach them to handle their situation. Give them the skills for Gad's sake, to function on their own. It's ok, no one is going to call the mommy police if you don't get involved once in a while. Let them get a little dirty, let them be a little disappointed, let them learn something the hard way. I know it's hard and it sucks to see your kid upset, but it's going to be 100 times worse if they never learn to handle accountability.
Ok....and we're stepping down from the soap box, and we're walking and we're breathing.....
I sort of laughed it off. Not because I'm a negligent mother, but because this is the kid who NEVER gets in trouble at school, at football, at a friend's house....or anywhere (besides home). Seriously, the kid prides himself on being the proverbial goody two shoes. So, I tell him it's no big deal, he's not in trouble at home and let's just move on. He sobs and sobs about how mean his bus driver is and won't I please call the school to complain about her.
(everything stops, record screeches)
Um. What? I'm sorry, have we met? I think you've mistaken me for someone else's mother. Yeah, in case you haven't caught on in the past 8.5 years, I'm not the mom that comes racing to your rescue each and every time you feel that an injustice was put upon you. No, see...call me old fashioned, but I'm from the school of thought where if you do the crime, you do the time. No matter how stupid the crime and/or punishment are. I can't stand it when a kid screws off at school and the parents challenge the teacher's authority. I'm a mom 24/7 and that will never change, but pretty much between the hours of 8:30 and 3:30, he belongs to the school. Sure, if he's being mistreated in any way or if his spirit is being broken, of course I'd step in, but not as it pertains to discipline. No way.
What bugged me even more is how often he hears the conversations of some of his classmates' mothers and how they talk about school incessantly and are up at the school so often they think they're on the payroll. He hears all this and after a while they lose respect for their teachers because in the back of their minds they know that their mom & dad will have their back. OK, fast forward 10 years. Ya gonna call his college professor when he fails his Philosophy exam? Ya gonna personally take it up with his boss when he gets fired? No!!!! You've got to teach them to handle their situation. Give them the skills for Gad's sake, to function on their own. It's ok, no one is going to call the mommy police if you don't get involved once in a while. Let them get a little dirty, let them be a little disappointed, let them learn something the hard way. I know it's hard and it sucks to see your kid upset, but it's going to be 100 times worse if they never learn to handle accountability.
Ok....and we're stepping down from the soap box, and we're walking and we're breathing.....
I don't see your city listed anywhere, but I am going to guess you are in or near G.R. I am from there also, but currently in Orlando. I came across your blog somewhere on the net and really enjoy it. Also enjoy hearing stories of familiar places..aka Blue Water Grill. Very funny stuff
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Oooh, I love when random people from across the USA find my blog!! Thank you! I am in Rockford. What part of GR are you from?? I will be in your neck of the woods in 2 weeks as we're taking the family on our first (and hopefully only) trip to Disney. Stay tuned for that!! I'm sharing a condo with my two boys, husband and in laws. I don't do well with non-stop family time, so I'm sure I'll have some good stories for you !!! Thanks for reading.
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Well I was raised in Greenville, not far from you in Rockford. I went to GVSU for my education degree, while living in Kentwood. I moved to O-town to teach. I hope you have a smooth, hurricane-free vacation! It's still pretty flippin' hot here.
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Applaud, applaud, applaud!!
Old school values rule!!
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I work in a school and see this happen EVERYDAY! Kudos to you for saying what the whole staff feels!
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Uh yeah. I can't stand the helicopter moms. Obviously, I'm really well liked in the small town where I live. (not).
Thanks for reading!!!
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Oh boy. I guess I am a 'helicoptor Mom.' There are some things that I think a parent has to step in and handle. Kids can do or say so much. They can not stand up for themselves to an adult the way I can. I think it needs to be taken on a case by case basis. I am not the one to have my child be taken advantage of. I'm not hatin, just statin.' Love your blog, though.
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Thanks for reading. I agree! I was mostly referring to the parents who challenge the teacher's authority over discipline issues. Kids learn real quick that they can do whatever they want because eventually mom or dad will swoop in to rescue them. No likey! Because then the kids won't respect authority. Also--when parents resolve every minor conflict for their children, the kids won't learn their own resolution techniques. I learned this first hand through my two boys. Like any other mother, I hovered over my first born, but was much more laid back with my second born. Who do you think is the more self reliant and independent child?
Thanks for the comments, I LOVE reading my readers' feedback. Keep it coming!
Leslie
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