Too Cool For School (and bonus video clip)
I'm well aware that I'm not going to win any popularity contests with this blog. Oh well. Let's start by asking this: Are the mothers at your children's school, absent, helpful, hovering, perfect?
Here's how I see it:
Slacker-mom: She is the mom who sits back and waits for everyone else to do all the work. She doesn't donate to any group gift. She never volunteers her time. She refuses to pitch in a few bucks for supplies. She won't do any of the extra "fun" projects that teachers sometimes ask the parents to do, like put together a photo collage when your child was chosen to be the Very Important Person of the week.
Now, I'm not incinuating that she is a slacker, I'm just saying she falls into the 'slacker mom' category. For all I know, she's an Obstetrician and she works 95 hours a week. Or perhaps she's a single mother and her time has to be divided between 5 kids. Whatever the case may be, I'm not dogging on her character, but as far as school goes, she doesn't put in a lot of face time. Whatever, no judgement. Moving on....
Helpful-mom: She pitches in when asked. She'll even volunteer to work a party or two. She can usually be counted on to donate to this fundraiser or that field trip. Hell, she might even bake a dozen cookies for pajama day. She's reliable, but not obnoxious about it. Her mantra is, "oh, why not. I guess I could fill 20 goodie bags, just don't ask me to do a craft, for God's sake".
Off-The-Hook-mom (OTH-mom): OK, this one's a tricky one because the OTH-mom is stealthy. You might not see her all that often. She might not put in a ton of face time at the school but when she does come, she brings out the big guns. (for the cake walk, she totally shows up with organic, homemade raw cookie dough, dipped in chocolate, rolled in sugar, skewered onto a donut and topped with a gumdrop. You're standing there holding your Meijer frosted sugar cookies and you're like, 'really'?) Yeah, that's how the OTH-mom rolls. Her kid has book report due. The book is about a boy who will only eat salami sandwiches. His mom (OTH-mom ) would then, hire Lady Gaga to perform her hit single, "Love Game" while wearing her lunch meat dress. I'm telling you, she's slick. You're exactly one half amazed by her and one half annoyed by her. Plain and simple, she makes you look like a slacker---and that's exactly her intent, mind you.
Omnipresent-Mom (sigh). I'm fairly familiar with this gal. This mom not only volunteers at school, but she never misses an opportunity to be at school. She arrives at school approximately 10 minutes after school begins. She might even hang out there all day, chatting with teachers, aids and other volunteers. Her entire 'social' calendar is really just 'school' events. She might show up during the day to visit her child (after all, 7 hours is a long time to go without seeing your kid). She might hang out in the office, shooting the breeze with the office staff (it's always beneficial to have them on your side). She will often be seen joking with the principal---and she might even think the principal really likes her, but really he cringes when he sees her coming. When he sees her around town, he is likely to spin on his heels in head in the other direction because--believe it or not---he really does have better things to do than discuss your child. But, on the other hand, this woman gets shit done, she goes above and beyond the call of duty--who doesn't love an Omnipresent-mom?
The-Mom-Who-Has-Two-Boys,-A-Mexican-Husband-And-Writes-Some-Pointless-Blog-About-Herself: Yeah, this mom is a total bitch. (hee hee!! Just Kidding!!)
Nothing against any of these categories. Nothing at all. I'm merely distinguishing the categories from one another. Just 'cause. Now that I've articulated my point.....I know which group I'm in. Do you?
(to see my WZZM segment on this topic, click here http://www.wzzm13.com/video/take_five_default.aspx#/Take+Five/Helicopter+Moms/51295455001/51120544001/745807504001
Here's how I see it:
Slacker-mom: She is the mom who sits back and waits for everyone else to do all the work. She doesn't donate to any group gift. She never volunteers her time. She refuses to pitch in a few bucks for supplies. She won't do any of the extra "fun" projects that teachers sometimes ask the parents to do, like put together a photo collage when your child was chosen to be the Very Important Person of the week.
Now, I'm not incinuating that she is a slacker, I'm just saying she falls into the 'slacker mom' category. For all I know, she's an Obstetrician and she works 95 hours a week. Or perhaps she's a single mother and her time has to be divided between 5 kids. Whatever the case may be, I'm not dogging on her character, but as far as school goes, she doesn't put in a lot of face time. Whatever, no judgement. Moving on....
Helpful-mom: She pitches in when asked. She'll even volunteer to work a party or two. She can usually be counted on to donate to this fundraiser or that field trip. Hell, she might even bake a dozen cookies for pajama day. She's reliable, but not obnoxious about it. Her mantra is, "oh, why not. I guess I could fill 20 goodie bags, just don't ask me to do a craft, for God's sake".
Off-The-Hook-mom (OTH-mom): OK, this one's a tricky one because the OTH-mom is stealthy. You might not see her all that often. She might not put in a ton of face time at the school but when she does come, she brings out the big guns. (for the cake walk, she totally shows up with organic, homemade raw cookie dough, dipped in chocolate, rolled in sugar, skewered onto a donut and topped with a gumdrop. You're standing there holding your Meijer frosted sugar cookies and you're like, 'really'?) Yeah, that's how the OTH-mom rolls. Her kid has book report due. The book is about a boy who will only eat salami sandwiches. His mom (OTH-mom ) would then, hire Lady Gaga to perform her hit single, "Love Game" while wearing her lunch meat dress. I'm telling you, she's slick. You're exactly one half amazed by her and one half annoyed by her. Plain and simple, she makes you look like a slacker---and that's exactly her intent, mind you.
Omnipresent-Mom (sigh). I'm fairly familiar with this gal. This mom not only volunteers at school, but she never misses an opportunity to be at school. She arrives at school approximately 10 minutes after school begins. She might even hang out there all day, chatting with teachers, aids and other volunteers. Her entire 'social' calendar is really just 'school' events. She might show up during the day to visit her child (after all, 7 hours is a long time to go without seeing your kid). She might hang out in the office, shooting the breeze with the office staff (it's always beneficial to have them on your side). She will often be seen joking with the principal---and she might even think the principal really likes her, but really he cringes when he sees her coming. When he sees her around town, he is likely to spin on his heels in head in the other direction because--believe it or not---he really does have better things to do than discuss your child. But, on the other hand, this woman gets shit done, she goes above and beyond the call of duty--who doesn't love an Omnipresent-mom?
The-Mom-Who-Has-Two-Boys,-A-Mexican-Husband-And-Writes-Some-Pointless-Blog-About-Herself: Yeah, this mom is a total bitch. (hee hee!! Just Kidding!!)
Nothing against any of these categories. Nothing at all. I'm merely distinguishing the categories from one another. Just 'cause. Now that I've articulated my point.....I know which group I'm in. Do you?
(to see my WZZM segment on this topic, click here http://www.wzzm13.com/video/take_five_default.aspx#/Take+Five/Helicopter+Moms/51295455001/51120544001/745807504001
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