Rumor Wills, her face looks like a jalepeno

Rob Lowe and his ugly ass wife.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a singer now?  A cuntry singer.  Really?

They're all selling skin care, clothing lines and hand bags now? Gretchen Rossi,  Jessica Simpson, Tori Spelling, etc...  If I were going to spend scratch on a bag, it sure as shit wouldn't be a 'Gretchen Rossi' bag. 

Are Brangelina's kids really that cute?  Are they?

Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster playing husband and wife in a movie?  I'm not buying it.  She's a little butch. 

Rumor Willis' other two sisters--Scout & Tellulah....  Blech.

Monroe and Morocco?  You had 9 mos. to come up with something and that's the best you can do, Mariah?

Mama Elsa from Real Housewives of Miami.  WTF??

I want to take Britney Spears and wash the bottom of her feet.  She looks dirty and I believe she smells like greasy food and cigarettes.

Renee from Mob Wives.  I just wanna know where she tucks her penis. 

Jake Gyllenhaall.  His tongue is too big for his mouth.  He slurs.  It bothers me. 

Khloe Kardashian.  Do a sit up and quit bitching about being the 'fat one'.

You mean Jeff Conway died after decades and decades of substance abuse? You're kidding.

Christina Haguilera got a divorce and the started drinking and whoring around?  That's weird because she was such decent, clean girl before. 

Sam Bernstein and his unfortunate looking family?  WTF? Not a good looking one in the bunch. 

That's all I got.  I'll have more once my People magazine arrives on Friday.