No filters....
It's the middle of August and guess what? My nerves are fried. While I am willing to go on record saying that Summer 2011 has been one of the best Summer's of my life, I still feel like I'm going to lose my mind. My God, my kids NEVER stop talking. All day long their only quest is to get my attention and to hold it for as long as humanly possible. If I look away or divert my attention anywhere else, for any length of time, they sort of freak out. Quite literally, they hold my attention hostage. And we've had a hostage situation for most of the Summer. If either Jason or I feel that the other one is involved in a hostage situation, we will try anything to try and dissuade the assailant. We'll jump out from behind plants in camo or threaten beatings. Anything.... Trust me, even though they're only 9 and 6, they have the art of attention hi-jacking down.
It can easily take Gabe 30 minutes to explain a simple sentence and Ben just wants to quiz you. Gabe wants to entertain us while his brother tries (and succeeds) to make us feel stupid and inferior. He is constantly asking questions that I couldn't possibly know the answer to. It might sound like I'm bitter and all I can say is, if you answered "I don't know" to every single question, every single day, you'd be pissed too. The kid makes me feel dumb. And he's smug about it too. If he asks me a question and I answer with the wrong answer and he knows I'm wrong, it's pretty much the best day of his life. I know everyone says this about their kid, but I ain't lying---that boys argues like he was born to. Hope he becomes an attorney. A defense one....'cause, you know.. I'm sure I'll need one...eventually. He'll be like, "what's your favorite sport" and I'll respond, "boxing" and he'll go, "No. No, it's not". He's THAT kinda kid. See what I'm saying?
Then there's little Gabe. God bless 'em. *sigh* Boy ain't right. He'll run THROUGH the house to get outside to pee in the yard. He's fun that way. This one's all mine. He wants to "drink beer and go fishing" when he grows up. See what I'm getting at? They each give me different kinds of anxiety. One constantly reminds me of how stupid I am and the other one just creates more work for me. At any rate, as much as they inspire me, school me and entertain me, the point is, my mind can never fully rest. Which is the point I'm trying to make----in that I've learned that neither one of them were born with a filter between their brain and their mouth (sound like anyone else?)
Tonight I had one in the bathtub (Gabe) while Ben was in our shower. I was standing between the two rooms in the hallway. Ben was saying, "mommommommommommommom" and Gabe wanted me to watch him make fart noises in the bathtub. And I just stood there pinching the bridge of my nose wondering which child do I answer first. Do I answer Ben's 500th question that day about whether I'd choose to fall 900 feet into a shark infested ocean or whether I'd rather eat nothing but boogers for the rest of my life.
As I'm typing this, I've been giving a 20 minute synopsis of a commercial they just saw. They insist on sharing every single thought that passes thru their head with me. No inner dialogue. All outer dialogue. They lit-rally say out loud every word that crosses their mind. Attention nazis, both of them! I've been blind folded and dragged outside to look at ants. I've had to watch at least 300 rehearsed 'dance routines' (all including farts and butts). I've had to answers that no human being should possibly have to answer.
I know I'm going to look back and wish to just hear their little, cute voices one more time ask me if I'd rather have two heads or no legs. I know some day I'm probably going to miss the constant talking. But for now, I'd just like to allow my mind to rest for 10 minutes. I'd love to be able to complete a sentence without being interrupted or even the luxury of having an uninterrupted thought. That sounds nice. But I guess that's what sleep is for.... *sigh*
It can easily take Gabe 30 minutes to explain a simple sentence and Ben just wants to quiz you. Gabe wants to entertain us while his brother tries (and succeeds) to make us feel stupid and inferior. He is constantly asking questions that I couldn't possibly know the answer to. It might sound like I'm bitter and all I can say is, if you answered "I don't know" to every single question, every single day, you'd be pissed too. The kid makes me feel dumb. And he's smug about it too. If he asks me a question and I answer with the wrong answer and he knows I'm wrong, it's pretty much the best day of his life. I know everyone says this about their kid, but I ain't lying---that boys argues like he was born to. Hope he becomes an attorney. A defense one....'cause, you know.. I'm sure I'll need one...eventually. He'll be like, "what's your favorite sport" and I'll respond, "boxing" and he'll go, "No. No, it's not". He's THAT kinda kid. See what I'm saying?
Then there's little Gabe. God bless 'em. *sigh* Boy ain't right. He'll run THROUGH the house to get outside to pee in the yard. He's fun that way. This one's all mine. He wants to "drink beer and go fishing" when he grows up. See what I'm getting at? They each give me different kinds of anxiety. One constantly reminds me of how stupid I am and the other one just creates more work for me. At any rate, as much as they inspire me, school me and entertain me, the point is, my mind can never fully rest. Which is the point I'm trying to make----in that I've learned that neither one of them were born with a filter between their brain and their mouth (sound like anyone else?)
Tonight I had one in the bathtub (Gabe) while Ben was in our shower. I was standing between the two rooms in the hallway. Ben was saying, "mommommommommommommom" and Gabe wanted me to watch him make fart noises in the bathtub. And I just stood there pinching the bridge of my nose wondering which child do I answer first. Do I answer Ben's 500th question that day about whether I'd choose to fall 900 feet into a shark infested ocean or whether I'd rather eat nothing but boogers for the rest of my life.
As I'm typing this, I've been giving a 20 minute synopsis of a commercial they just saw. They insist on sharing every single thought that passes thru their head with me. No inner dialogue. All outer dialogue. They lit-rally say out loud every word that crosses their mind. Attention nazis, both of them! I've been blind folded and dragged outside to look at ants. I've had to watch at least 300 rehearsed 'dance routines' (all including farts and butts). I've had to answers that no human being should possibly have to answer.
I know I'm going to look back and wish to just hear their little, cute voices one more time ask me if I'd rather have two heads or no legs. I know some day I'm probably going to miss the constant talking. But for now, I'd just like to allow my mind to rest for 10 minutes. I'd love to be able to complete a sentence without being interrupted or even the luxury of having an uninterrupted thought. That sounds nice. But I guess that's what sleep is for.... *sigh*
Leslie, you make me laugh. I have BEEN THERE, still, with my boys being in their late 20's, constantly amazed I survived their childhoods. Not that they did - as I was there to catch them as they fell, was their cook, human sounding board and dictionary, chauffeur, laundress, and cheerleader - effectively, I was their MOM, and a stay-at-home one to boot. They wear you down, but you will miss and look back on these years with fondness (even some of the memories still tinged with exasperation). You have great kids, and a sense of humor - what I deemed essential in raising boys!
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