Mama bear.
My blog sometimes portrays motherhood in an unfavorable light. Well, all I can say to that is that Ben and Gabe's behavior is often not favorable, so I write about it. Why? Because it's fucking hilarious. If I wrote about how awesome they were, no one would read my blog. And for the record, my blog had over 500 hits last Saturday alone and over 1,700 for the week. Holla. I didn't achieve the success of this blog or the head writer position of a stupid tv show, or a regular spot on a morning show because I'm "nice". I earned it all because I'm funny and because I'm a great writer. Duh.
Find something else to criticize on me. Like my lack of grace, for example.
So, here's where I'll address the issue---just in case 'anyone' feels sorry for my kids. My boys are more than ok. How do I know this? Because they're extremely secure kids who know without a shadow of a doubt how much their mom and dad love them. You think my kids are going to one day grow up and read this blog and become 'sad'? Not likely. Have you ever met them? They have the most developed self esteems of any person I've ever met. It's borderline obnoxious how 'in love' with themselves they are. I don't think my ribbing the challenges of motherhood even comes close to crushing their spirits. They are well aware of the fact that I make fun of them. And I'm well aware of the fact that they (along with their father) make fun of me constantly. It's all in good fun. My kids are kind, funny, smart, very well-liked and they're good people---not to mention gorgeous. Now, if your child would be 'sad' reading about how difficult motherhood is, then I'm sorry.....that's your problem, not mine!
Since you're so concerned for my children, I'll throw out some stellar parenting advice back atcha! Stop projecting your own pathetic insecurities onto your kids. Stop creating an unrealistic world for your children. It's one thing to create a world of pure bliss for your 2 or 3 year old, but when they get to be 9,10 or 11---it becomes a HUGE disservice to them when you manipulate their every waking moment. From who's on their basketball team to who their locker partner is, to who they play with. How about letting THEM figure that out THEMselves, rather than YOU puppeteering them through life, just so that YOU can feel better about YOURself?
Try this instead: " Hey little man, you're not always gonna be the best and you're not always gonna be chosen first. Life's hard. Deal with it" I guarantee you'll have better results with that approach. Or else you'll find yourself with a 40 year old basket case for a child because you overly coddled him and didn't prepare him for the tough challenges of life. Or, you keep on worrying about other people's children instead of focusing on your own. Either way...your choice.
Find something else to criticize on me. Like my lack of grace, for example.
So, here's where I'll address the issue---just in case 'anyone' feels sorry for my kids. My boys are more than ok. How do I know this? Because they're extremely secure kids who know without a shadow of a doubt how much their mom and dad love them. You think my kids are going to one day grow up and read this blog and become 'sad'? Not likely. Have you ever met them? They have the most developed self esteems of any person I've ever met. It's borderline obnoxious how 'in love' with themselves they are. I don't think my ribbing the challenges of motherhood even comes close to crushing their spirits. They are well aware of the fact that I make fun of them. And I'm well aware of the fact that they (along with their father) make fun of me constantly. It's all in good fun. My kids are kind, funny, smart, very well-liked and they're good people---not to mention gorgeous. Now, if your child would be 'sad' reading about how difficult motherhood is, then I'm sorry.....that's your problem, not mine!
Since you're so concerned for my children, I'll throw out some stellar parenting advice back atcha! Stop projecting your own pathetic insecurities onto your kids. Stop creating an unrealistic world for your children. It's one thing to create a world of pure bliss for your 2 or 3 year old, but when they get to be 9,10 or 11---it becomes a HUGE disservice to them when you manipulate their every waking moment. From who's on their basketball team to who their locker partner is, to who they play with. How about letting THEM figure that out THEMselves, rather than YOU puppeteering them through life, just so that YOU can feel better about YOURself?
Try this instead: " Hey little man, you're not always gonna be the best and you're not always gonna be chosen first. Life's hard. Deal with it" I guarantee you'll have better results with that approach. Or else you'll find yourself with a 40 year old basket case for a child because you overly coddled him and didn't prepare him for the tough challenges of life. Or, you keep on worrying about other people's children instead of focusing on your own. Either way...your choice.
Does this look like a kid who can't take a joke? So tragic.
Bravo! While I'll be the first to admit I've made plenty of mistakes as a parent, I know my kids are not crushed when things don't go their way. They a well prepared to face the world when they are launched into it (they're 17 & 15) and yes, they get their feelings hurt once in a while. If parents continue to inoculate their children against all things sad, eventually everything overwhelms the kid and they can't function in reality. It's like over-medicating for a common cold. Why do you think we have super bugs today that are resistant to antibiotics? The bugs evolved and got stronger. Over-parenting becomes just as ineffective as antibiotics over time. Lighten up folks and let your kid be a kid. Sometimes being a kid sucks. Your job as a parent is to teach your kid how to handle the sucky times on their own, not to prevent them from happening. I assure you your child will fare far better later in life with this approach and you may actually find the time to get a life of your own!
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Thank you for your support on what has become my most favorite blog entry to date. And I hope you loved the photo attached!!! xo
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OK as a teacher I can conclusively tell you that broad's kids are screwed. Unless she's going to be changing a 47 year old man's Depends she better let them experience the reality of their mediocrity. Funny how people feel compelled to comment about things that they themselves are failing miserably at. (At parent-teacher conferences we call that the Apple and the Tree Syndrome.) Spend your time worrying about your own damn kids, not mine. Those women who act like June Cleaver and refuse to admit that there is ever a moment of discord in the parenting relationship are pathetic losers. Their kids are going to grow up with unrealistic expectations and no coping skills at all. BLECH.
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You get it... And you make my smile.
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I am pretty sure no one needs to be feeling sorry for your kids! Life can be challenging, upsetting, disappointing, messy, and downright tough. Guess what? So can parenting! Having a mother who handles life and parenthood with honesty and humor would be an awesome gift for any kid. You are a great role-model for those boys!
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Hahhaaaaaa. The only thing better as a retort to whomever this person is would be to find her and kick her in the cow catcher. I want to party with you and your horribly adjusted family.
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I agree with you completely! I've been judged many many times for my parenting jokes... I love your humor and advice! Keep it up!
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I love this post! I preach this everyday to my fellow colleagues and parents. Recently the girls and I tried out for the play and I work with the director. I told him, " If they aren't good enought please cut them. In fact, I would be pleased if you cut them so they can learn to deal with rejection" He looked at me as if I was crazy! Everyday I deal with parents living through their children and trying to make their kids life as perfect as possible, I try to sway them the other way but they just don't see it. Recently, we have been hearing from more and more colleges about how they have to shew the parents away on move-in day and they are constantly fielding parent phone calls to professors and other staff. REALLY people come on!
Well, time to go get ready for a day with the outlaws, luckily I found a fab recipe for cranberry mojitos!
Happy Festivus to the rest of us!
Sarah
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