Luna...
Why do dogs look so pathetic when they're getting a bath? It's a riot. They're ears are back. Their smiles are turned completely upside down. They blink slowly, like they're getting beaten to death.
Seriously. That awful commercial for abused and neglected dogs with the Sarah McLaughlin song playing in the background....yeah, those dogs look almost chipper compared to what Luna looks like when she's getting a bath.
Her expression is the same one that I'd have if Jason took me outside, called out all my neighbors and made them watch as I stood naked in the streets and he poked me with a stick. Just pure disgust and humilation. That is what Luna looks like when I give her a bath (With warm water and lavender/chamomile hypo-allergen, body wash, mind you). And, not to mention, when I am bathing her, I talk to her as if she's a newborn baby. "oooooh, Luuuuuunaaaa.....aren't you sooooooo pretty? Who's the prettiest girl in the world? You are, that's who. Doesn't that feel goooooood? Oh yeah, right there, huh, Lu-Lu-Girl?" Torture, I know!
Hers is the most pitiful face you've ever seen in your entire life. Until she's done. Then I release her to the wild. She shakes, then tears into the grass, drops and rolls until she's happy. Then she's the fluffiest, happiest dog on the planet. She always struts toward the street like, "heeeeyyyy....look who's all clean and shiny. What's up?" She always has a little pep in her step in the days following her bath. I'm glad I can contribute to her already inflated self image.
Oh Luna.... I love you so. You're my favorite person in the whole wide world.
Seriously. That awful commercial for abused and neglected dogs with the Sarah McLaughlin song playing in the background....yeah, those dogs look almost chipper compared to what Luna looks like when she's getting a bath.
Her expression is the same one that I'd have if Jason took me outside, called out all my neighbors and made them watch as I stood naked in the streets and he poked me with a stick. Just pure disgust and humilation. That is what Luna looks like when I give her a bath (With warm water and lavender/chamomile hypo-allergen, body wash, mind you). And, not to mention, when I am bathing her, I talk to her as if she's a newborn baby. "oooooh, Luuuuuunaaaa.....aren't you sooooooo pretty? Who's the prettiest girl in the world? You are, that's who. Doesn't that feel goooooood? Oh yeah, right there, huh, Lu-Lu-Girl?" Torture, I know!
Hers is the most pitiful face you've ever seen in your entire life. Until she's done. Then I release her to the wild. She shakes, then tears into the grass, drops and rolls until she's happy. Then she's the fluffiest, happiest dog on the planet. She always struts toward the street like, "heeeeyyyy....look who's all clean and shiny. What's up?" She always has a little pep in her step in the days following her bath. I'm glad I can contribute to her already inflated self image.
Oh Luna.... I love you so. You're my favorite person in the whole wide world.
So funny! I gave Denny Crane a shower two days ago because he's itching so badly and he wimpered like I was poking him with a hot stick. He shook off most of the water in the shower, but when I released him he went tearing through my bedroom the stood in my closet and shook off what moisture and hanging fur was left. To show me how mad he was at me, he then proceeded to walk back and forth through my clothes that are hanging on the bottom rack. When he was all done throwing his tantrum, he looked at me like, "I smell and feel so damn good that I think you need to parade me through the neighborhood." Then he snuggled me the rest of the day. When I die, I want to come back as one of our pets. They're more spoiled than my kids!
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