Just another day up at school....
So I decide to drop off teachers' gifts as well as gifts that we donated to the Giving Tree up at my kids' elementary school today. Many of you already know that I avoid that place as much as humanly possible, but today was wide open and I took advantage of my availability by showing off my good parent-ness.
Ben's teacher is a guy's guy, so what do you give to this guy's guy kinda guy? Oh. Beer. Because, I'm classy that way. I am classy....hell, I even wrapped it up and everything. So, picture me, walking through the halls OF AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL with a box of clanking beer bottles. But, it's wrapped in festive paper, so that's ok. The kids were at lunch, so I threw it under his desk and proceeded onto Gabe's Kindergarten classroom.
I am stopped at the door by a very surprised looking substitute teacher. I said, "Hi, I'm just dropping off gifts for the Giving Tree...is that ok?" Here's how the rest of that conversation went.
Sub: Oh..Oh...I...I recognize you from tv! I thought you were surprising me!
Me: YOU get a car! and YOU get a car!! (you know...the whole Oprah bit)
Sub: (dying laughing) I LOVE watching you on tv!! You must get accosted every day!
Me: Nope. Never. But thanks for making my day!
Me (to the class) BYE Kindergartners! Be good for your sub today!
Kid to Gabe: Who. Was. That?
Gabe: (sigh) Just my mom.
Deliver gifts. Check
Bring alcoholic beverages to school. Check
Mortify children. Check check.
You're welcome.
Ben's teacher is a guy's guy, so what do you give to this guy's guy kinda guy? Oh. Beer. Because, I'm classy that way. I am classy....hell, I even wrapped it up and everything. So, picture me, walking through the halls OF AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL with a box of clanking beer bottles. But, it's wrapped in festive paper, so that's ok. The kids were at lunch, so I threw it under his desk and proceeded onto Gabe's Kindergarten classroom.
I am stopped at the door by a very surprised looking substitute teacher. I said, "Hi, I'm just dropping off gifts for the Giving Tree...is that ok?" Here's how the rest of that conversation went.
Sub: Oh..Oh...I...I recognize you from tv! I thought you were surprising me!
Me: YOU get a car! and YOU get a car!! (you know...the whole Oprah bit)
Sub: (dying laughing) I LOVE watching you on tv!! You must get accosted every day!
Me: Nope. Never. But thanks for making my day!
Me (to the class) BYE Kindergartners! Be good for your sub today!
Kid to Gabe: Who. Was. That?
Gabe: (sigh) Just my mom.
Deliver gifts. Check
Bring alcoholic beverages to school. Check
Mortify children. Check check.
You're welcome.
Comments