Why?
Why don't people dress their children before going grocery shopping? I counted 3 separate families whose kids were in pajamas at Meijer this week.
Why does Gabe leave his man cave in the basement (which has a bathroom) to come upstairs to pee in the kitchen bathroom? Why?
Why does Luna only cry to come inside after I go upstairs?
Why does someone tall always sit in front of me?
Why does the person behind me always kick my seat?
Why do I always get behind the slowest person?
Why do I physically feel sick whenever I am in the presence of someone coughing?
Why do I insist I can feel germs crawling on my hands after being in public?
Why do I always tell people how inexpensive something was when they compliment me on it? Why can't I just say 'thank you' and let them think it was an expensive splurge?
Why do I always lose expensive lipsticks, yet have 32 different drug store ones in every purse?
Why does Jason always come home hungry after texting me that he's not going to eat?
Why won't kids just go pee? Why do they insist on holding it? What are they going to miss?
And furthermore, why won't they just go to sleep?
Why do they call them "Real Housewives" when half of them aren't married?
Why won't people learn that you're = "you are" and your is the possessive "you"?
Why can we say douche bag on tv now, but we can't say, "God" in school?
Why does it take so long to write a Modern Family episode, when I can whip up something funny every day?
Why does everyone in my house whine when they know it'll never get them anywhere?
Why does Gabe ask for ice cream each and every morning when NEVER in the history of ever-dom have I ever given him ice cream for breakfast?
Why do I hate showering so much? What's the problem?
Why don't I ever changing my work out playlist? I mean how many times can I listen to "Imma Be" before I just lose motivation?
Why did I volunteer to be the Kindergarten room mom?
Why do I read People and US Weekly every weekend when they're clearly the exact same magazine?
Why do my kids start making their birthday lists before I've even thrown away the Christmas wrapping paper?
Why do I continue to try out my "well-you-could-change-her-name-to-Eileen"* joke when it clearly never gets the reaction that I'm hoping for?
Good God, this can go on for hours.
*The "well, you could change her name to Eileen" joke works whenever someone has a limp. Or not. Truth be told, I try my hand at that joke at least every week and it never works. I had a massage two weeks ago and the therapist told me that my hips are uneven and that he would try to even them out. I said, "wouldn't it be easier to change my name to Eileen?" and he said this: Wow. (then it was crickets). You'd think I'd learn....
Why does Gabe leave his man cave in the basement (which has a bathroom) to come upstairs to pee in the kitchen bathroom? Why?
Why does Luna only cry to come inside after I go upstairs?
Why does someone tall always sit in front of me?
Why does the person behind me always kick my seat?
Why do I always get behind the slowest person?
Why do I physically feel sick whenever I am in the presence of someone coughing?
Why do I insist I can feel germs crawling on my hands after being in public?
Why do I always tell people how inexpensive something was when they compliment me on it? Why can't I just say 'thank you' and let them think it was an expensive splurge?
Why do I always lose expensive lipsticks, yet have 32 different drug store ones in every purse?
Why does Jason always come home hungry after texting me that he's not going to eat?
Why won't kids just go pee? Why do they insist on holding it? What are they going to miss?
And furthermore, why won't they just go to sleep?
Why do they call them "Real Housewives" when half of them aren't married?
Why won't people learn that you're = "you are" and your is the possessive "you"?
Why can we say douche bag on tv now, but we can't say, "God" in school?
Why does it take so long to write a Modern Family episode, when I can whip up something funny every day?
Why does everyone in my house whine when they know it'll never get them anywhere?
Why does Gabe ask for ice cream each and every morning when NEVER in the history of ever-dom have I ever given him ice cream for breakfast?
Why do I hate showering so much? What's the problem?
Why don't I ever changing my work out playlist? I mean how many times can I listen to "Imma Be" before I just lose motivation?
Why did I volunteer to be the Kindergarten room mom?
Why do I read People and US Weekly every weekend when they're clearly the exact same magazine?
Why do my kids start making their birthday lists before I've even thrown away the Christmas wrapping paper?
Why do I continue to try out my "well-you-could-change-her-name-to-Eileen"* joke when it clearly never gets the reaction that I'm hoping for?
Good God, this can go on for hours.
*The "well, you could change her name to Eileen" joke works whenever someone has a limp. Or not. Truth be told, I try my hand at that joke at least every week and it never works. I had a massage two weeks ago and the therapist told me that my hips are uneven and that he would try to even them out. I said, "wouldn't it be easier to change my name to Eileen?" and he said this: Wow. (then it was crickets). You'd think I'd learn....
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