I don't know why I attract 'crazy' into my life, but I do.  I've come across some real nuts in my life.  I absolutely swear that I avoid conflict, I'm non-combative (unless you f--- with my kid) and I do my best to steer clear of drama.  How 'crazy' gets dragged into my life on such a regular basis, I have no idea.

You know how stray animals seem to find their way to animal lovers' homes?  I think it's like that.  I have a knack for listening and for giving really good advice.  I have a very compassionate and empathic way about me and I think that's what attracts the crazies. 

I used to keep the crazies in my life out of guilt and obligation.  Then, I realized I was keeping some of the crazies around for pure entertainment.  Now, it's gotten to where I don't want to keep them around at all because I'm too busy for the drama.  Having crazies in your life is exhausting, I tell you.  When you don't want to answer the phone because you know there's going to be drama on the other line, you might be a crazy magnet as well. 

I had a crazy for a while who was so unstable, I later found out she was stealing from me and other people who are close to me.  Yeah, I said stealing.  She stole a pair of shoes right out of my house.  I fantasize about the day when I see her out on the town wearing my shoes.  The weird thing is, I am pretty sure we didn't wear the same size.  What a train wreck she turned out to be.  I was about 3 emails from getting a restraining order put upon her. 

I had another crazy who was (I think) stalking me.  She seemed to know waaaaayyy too much about my whereabouts as well as my family's.  It was creepy and I had to shut that shit down immediately.  She was always keeping tabs on me, pushing herself onto my friends in a very uncomfortable way and other awkward exchanges.  Like I always do whenever I feel like someone is trying too hard with me, I ran for the hills and kept my distance!

And yet another crazy... .  (big sigh)  All I can say, is this particular crazy was the kind of crazy that text books are written about.  We are talking Real Housewives, Danielle Staub-crazy.  As in, shit-you-can't-even-make-up-crazy.  Let's just say when I give examples of this crazy to my friends, they all respond with the ubiquitous, "nuh-uhhhh".   Yep. 

And of course, I've got my handful of "run-of- the-mill, average, narcissistic, the world revolves around me, I'm not happy unless I'm miserable kind of crazies" that I keep around just because sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.  I can tolerate these kind of crazies. 

When it starts to infiltrate my life and it begins to consume me on a regular basis, that's when I have to cut 'em loose.  Certainly every single person in my life, definitely me included, have had their fair share of drama over the course of our relationships.  Not to say that I'll drop someone like a hot potato at the first sign of trouble.  Quite the contrary.  I'm actually a really good friend and especially good when there's a crisis.  But when I become exhausted at the mere sound of your voice because I know you're gonna bombard me with something....  I have to remove myself.  Before I had a life, husband, kids...  I probably would have listened to this drama for hours on end.  Jason used to say to me, "My God, you have the most fucked up people in your life".   I'm so protective of my time now that I can't get all that invested anymore.  I have my own shit to deal with and I typically don't have hours a day to invest in your problems. 

Getting back to the lecture at hand.  I have no idea why I attract crazy.  Crazy is as crazy does, I suppose.