Here's my newest gripe.  Reciprocation.  It's not a difficult concept.  I do you a favor.  You help me out once in a while.  I offer to host.  Maybe later down the line, you might offer to host. I drive your kids around hell's half acre.  Perhaps you could transport my kids from time to time.  You tell me when you're coming to my house, instead of asking if you can visit.  Occasionally, it would be nice if you invited us into your home.  You know....reciprocation. 

While I enjoy hosting, you have to know that it's work.  Especially if you have a large family.  That's a lot of mouths to feed, it's a lot of shopping, cleaning, preparation, etc.  I don't just invite you over and then not plan ahead.  In other words, you aren't going to spend the weekend at my house and listen to me say, "uh....what do you guys want for dinner?"  No.  I'll probably have already shopped, prepared a menu, changed the sheets and made every possibly provision so that you're comfortable. 

All I ask is that you not take that for granted and perhaps throw a bone in my direction from time to time.  I'm not playing the tit for tat game, nor am I a score keeper, but for God's sake----I'd occasionally like to be a guest as well! 

But, beyond hosting----there's the little things, too.  Like, ok, we're all moms.  We're all women, we need to help each other out.  Life gets messy, it takes a village and all that.  I'm the first one to offer when someone needs a hand, running an errand, schlepping kids, watching kids, etc.  Honestly, that's what friends are for.  But, would it kill you to maybe reciprocate a favor every now and again?

I get tired of always being asked favors by people who are no where to be found when it's my turn to need a hand. I don't like being taken advantage of and I have less and less tolerance of it, the older I get. I even see this on Facebook.  "Who can pick up my kids?  Our power is out...Who wants us for dinner? Does anyone have extra handcuffs??"  I agree that FB is an excellent way to get fast results and I too, have been known to call in favors, but I'll admit, there are certain people, I don't enjoy helping out anymore because I know the favor will never be returned.  Just because you have more kids than me, or perhaps you work outside the home, doesn't mean my time isn't as important as yours. 

Even if I can't return the favor in the same fashion (example: my father in law watches my kids for me if/when I have a dr. appt, or an errand).  I can't exactly watch his kids for him, but while I'm out, I'll pick up dinner for him or maybe bring him leftovers the next day or something like that.  It's called appreciation.  I appreciate him helping me out, so by God, let me do something to show my gratitude.  A friend watches Gabe so I can go help out at Ben's school....maybe I'll bring her a latte afterward.  A buddy helps your husband with some heavy lifting?  Spring for a case of beer....or something!  Simple, simple gestures go a long way. 

I'm not even after a payback----for me, I'd be thrilled with a thank you and the assurance that I could count on you if I had to.

So, be aware of how much you're taking vs. how often you're giving.